I Hurt Too

When someone I love is hurting, I hurt too. I feel a pressure in my heart, like a tight grip, pressing against my chest. I feel like I'm drowning from tears that I can't shed. I feel a heavy weight on my shoulders, slowly crushing me down.

When someone I love is hurting, anger sinks in. A suppressed, blind anger, knocking on my soul. Anger that I can't let out in fear that I'd do something I'd regret. I feel it towards the people that caused him pain, and towards him for allowing himself become vulnerable enough to get hurt, for being too obsessed, too consumed of his own perfect ideas and acting up when he doesn’t get his way!

I notice every changes, despite the amount of effort to conceal them, for I'm not blind, and I'm most definitely not a fool. I notice the sleepless nights, the complete and utter disregard, the lack of or very little care about someone who's about to be disheartened. Shatters my heart to tiny little pieces.

When someone I love is hurting, I feel that I let myself down. I feel this crippling sense of disappointment setting in the pit of my stomach, burning me with shame. Shame for letting myself think the way I do, for letting myself feel the way I feel.